Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
