She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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