He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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