i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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