Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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