We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
