The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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