She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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