Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
