I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
