Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
