we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
