the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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