Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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