My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
