so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
