Banned from zoo.
Again?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
