I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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