So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
