It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the day after is always just damage control
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.â€
Randomize
