omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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