Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
