he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
God, I missed his penis.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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