A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
