your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My vagina just recognized that song.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
