I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I want her autograph on my taint
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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