He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
