I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
