She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Houston, we have a squirter
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
