oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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