After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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