Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
is it fun? or sober?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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