my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
