I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
