I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
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