..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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