Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
