well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
