question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
