peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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