OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
