Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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