You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
