About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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