The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
