i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
