I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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