two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i will never coherently bang her
It was confusing and full of hummus
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
