Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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