He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
