ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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