the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
