Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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