i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Randomize
