does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
