It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
