Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
