We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
